王爾德幽默名言
Published on June 10, 2009 in 名言錦句. 0 Comments Tags: 名言, 王爾德.
王爾德（Oscar Wilde，1854年10月16日－1900年11月30日），
英國唯美主義藝術運動的倡導者，著名的作家、詩人、劇作家。
其著名童話如快樂王子、夜鶯與玫瑰、小公主的生日，
不同一般童話的快樂結局，最後多是以死亡作結，但不流於陰沉恐怖，
而以悲劇帶出美的微妙距離。
而王爾德的同性戀審判是英國司法史上最引人注目的案件之一，
也是同性戀平權運動史上被引用最多的案件之一。
在同性戀不再被視為異端、被普遍接受的20世紀末、21世紀初，
他成了同性戀社群的一個文化偶像。
天才橫溢的王爾德在1881年搭乘「亞歷桑納」號踏上美國時，
甚至曾對著美國海關說，自己沒有任何物品需要申報，「什麼都沒有，除了我的天才」
( I have nothing to declare except my genius. )。
其自負與大膽作風可見一斑。
***
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
憤世嫉俗者是一個知道所有東西的價格、卻不知道它們的價值的人。
A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight,
and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.
夢想家只能在月光下找到自己的路，他的懲罰是第一個看見黎明。
A little sincerity is a dangerous thing,
and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.
不夠真誠是危險的，太真誠則絕對是致命的。
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
一個人在選擇他的敵人時，再小心也不為過。
A poet can survive everything but a misprint.
一個詩人什麼都可以容忍，印刷錯誤除外。
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy.
No man does. That's his.
所有女人都會變得像她們的母親一樣，這是女人的悲劇。
但沒有男人變得像他們的父親，這是男人的悲劇。
Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.
永遠要寬恕你的敵人。沒有什麼比這更能讓他們心煩的了。
America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without
civilization in between.
美國是唯一一個直接從野蠻進入頹廢、中間沒有經過文明階段的社會。
Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.
要避免爭論，爭論總是俗不可耐，而且常常令人信服。
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter,
she is perfectly satisfied.
只要一個女人看上去比她自己的女兒小十歲，她就一定會心滿意足。
Bad artists always admire each other's work.
糟糕的畫家總是欣賞彼此的作品。
Between men and women there is no friendship possible.
there is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
男女之間不可能存在友誼，有的只是愛恨情仇。
Conscience and cowardice are really the same things.
良心和怯懦其實是一回事。
Dammit sir, it's your duty to get married.
You can't be always living for pleasure.
該死，先生，結婚是你的職責，你不能總是逍遙快活。
Democracy means simply the bludgeoning
of the people by the people for the people.
民主就是指人民用人民的大頭棒打擊人民。
Don't give a woman advice; one should never give a woman
anything she can't wear in the evening.
不要給女人忠告；決不要給女人任何她晚上不能穿戴的東西。
Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember
from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.
教育是一件可敬的事，但要時刻牢記，沒有什麼值得知道的事是教得會的。
Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes.
經驗是一個人給自己所犯的錯誤取的名字。
Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable
that we have to alter it every six months.
時裝醜陋得完全令人無法容忍，以至於我們必須每6個月就改變它的樣式。
How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists
on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.
女人如何能期望會從男人那裡獲得幸福，如果他堅持把她當作一個完全正常的人。
I adore political parties. They are the only place left to us
where people don't talk politics.
我喜歡政治晚會，這是唯一人們不談政治的地方。
I am not young enough to know everything.
我還沒有年輕到什麼都懂的地步。
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word
of what I'm saying.
我簡直太聰明了，有時連我自己都不知道自己在說什麼。
I can resist everything except temptation.
我可以抗拒一切，誘惑除外。
I have made an important discovery…that alcohol,
taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication.
我有一個重大發現——如果攝入足量酒精，就會產生各種陶醉的效果。
I like talking to a brick wall,
it's the only thing in the world that never contradicts me.
我喜歡對一堵牆說話，世界上只有它不會反駁我。
I love acting. It is so much more real than life.
我喜歡演戲。與人生相比，演戲更真實。
I often take exercise. Why only yesterday I had breakfast in bed.
我經常鍛鍊。只是昨天我是在床上吃的早飯。
I think that God, in creating Man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
我想，上帝在創造人類時高估了他的能力。
I was working on the proof of one of my poems all morning,
and took out a comma. In the afternoon I put it back again.
我整個早上都在校對自己的一首詩，我去掉了一個逗號。下午我又把它加了上去。
Ignorance is like a delicate flower: touch it and the bloom is gone.
無知就像是一朵精緻的花朵：摸一下，它就消失了。
In this world there are only two tragedies.
One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
世界上只有兩種悲劇，一種是一個人沒有得到他想要的，另一種是他得到了。
It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information.
這是一件很悲哀的事——如今幾乎沒有無用的信息。
It is better to be beautiful than to be good,
but it is better to be good than to be ugly.
美麗要比善良好，善良要比難看強。
It is characteristic of all deep human problems
that they are not to be approached without some humor and some bewilderment.
所有人類的重大問題都有一個共同點：沒有點幽默和瘋狂是沒辦法解決的。
It is only the intellectually lost who ever argue.
爭論者損失的只是智力。
It is very easy to endure the difficulties of one's enemies.
It is the successes of one's friends that are hard to bear.
來自敵人的困難可以忍，來自朋友的成功則無可忍。
Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things
after each other.
人生就是一件蠢事追著另一件蠢事而來，而愛情則是兩個蠢東西追來追去。
Like dear St Francis of Assisi I am wedded to Poverty:
but in my case the marriage is not a success.
就像親愛的聖芳濟一樣，我也和貧窮聯姻，但我的婚姻並不成功。
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
結婚是想像戰勝了理智，再婚是希望戰勝了經驗。
Music makes one feel so romantic—
at least it always gets on one's nerves, which is the same thing nowadays.
音樂讓人感覺非常浪漫，至少讓人感覺不安，如今兩者是一回事。
No woman should ever be quite accurate about her age.
It looks so calculating.
沒有女人應該對她的年齡十分準確。這顯得有些精於算計。
One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
一個人決不應該相信說出自己真實年齡的女人。如果她把這都說出來了，那她什麼都會說。
Science is the record of dead religions.
科學是死去的宗教的記錄。
The basis of optimism is sheer terror.
樂觀的基礎完全是恐懼。
The Book of Life begins with a man and a woman in a garden…
It ends with Revelations.
《生命之書》始於一座花園裡的一男一女……它最後以《啟示錄》告終。
The difference between journalism and literature is
that journalism is unreadable and literature is not read.
報紙和文學的區別是，報紙沒法讀，而文學則沒人讀。
The only difference between saints and sinners is that every saint
has a past while every sinner has a future.
聖人和罪人的唯一區別是，每一個聖人都有過去，而每一個罪人都有未來。
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
對於忠告，你所能做的，就是把它奉送給別人，忠告從來就不是給自己準備的。
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
擺脫誘惑的唯一方法是屈服於它。
The play was a great success, but the audience was a disaster.
演出相當成功，但觀眾則是一場災難。
The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius.
公眾極其寬容，他們可以寬容一切，天才除外。
There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about,
and that is not being talked about.
世界上只有一件比被人談論更糟糕的事，那就是沒人談論你。
Thirty five is a very attractive age;
London society is full of women who have of their own free choice
remained thirty-five for years.
三十五歲是一個非常有吸引力的年齡；
倫敦社交圈內滿是這樣好多年一直保持三十五歲的女人，她們可以自由地挑來選去。
This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.
懸念是可怕的。我希望它一直延續下去。
Time is a waste of money.
時間是一種對金錢的浪費。
To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune;
to lose both looks like carelessness.
失去一個父母可以看成是一種不幸；失去雙親看上去就像是一種粗心了。
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
愛自己就是開始一場延續一生的羅曼史。
True friends stab you in the front.
當面扎刀的是真朋友。
When good Americans die they go to Paris.
When bad Americans die they go to America.
當美國的好人死了，他們就去巴黎。當美國的壞蛋死了，他們就去美國。
All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling.
所有糟糕的詩歌都源於真情實感。
When I was young I used to think that money was the most important thing
in life. Now that I am old, I know it is.
當我年輕時，我以為金錢是人生中最重要的東西。現在我老了，我知道這是真的。
When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers.
當天神想要懲罰我們，他們就答應我們的祈禱。
Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
每當人們贊同我時，我總希望自己一定是錯了。
Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are.
That is the difference between the sexes.
恭維話從來沒有讓女人繳械，但可以讓男人繳械。這就是性別差異。
Women have a much better time than men in this world.
There are far more things forbidden to them.
女人在世上的日子要比男人好過得多。她們有太多禁忌。
Women love men for their defects;
if men have enough of them women will forgive them everything,
even their gigantic intellects.
女人因為男人的缺點而愛男人；如果男人的缺點足夠多，女人什麼事都可以原諒他們，
哪怕是他們的智力。
Women represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as men
represent the triumph of mind over morals.
女人代表著物質戰勝了理智，正如男人代表著理智戰勝了道德。
Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless,
and cannot.
年輕人想要有信仰，但他們卻沒有；老年人不想要有信仰，但卻辦不到。
萬源一譯